Songs of the Bushmen
-
935 Lies
A think tank did the counting
the number still could rise
totaled what we were told before the war
935 lies
935 falsehoods
told by our leading guys
eyes of steel,
tongues of fork
935 lies.
one a day
it'll take you three years
to eat up a thousand pies
but in a year and a half we swallowed whole
935 lies.
a thousand clowns is a truckload
rubber noses to the skies
but somehow it's now quite as scary as
935 lies.
a thousand dollars will buy you
a pretty good suite at the ritz
truffle dinner, plenty champagne,
a custom made suit that fits.
yeah, a thousand dollars will buy you,
a pretty nice day at the store,
but 935 lies will get you,
a trillion dollar war.
one thousand points of darkness,
pointing to a surprise,
guess what we were led to believe
935 lies.
a thousand and one nights were magic,
filled with amazing tales,
ali baby and aladdin,
sinbad and his sails.
but 935 fictions
cut scheherazade down to size,
many more nights in arabia,
thanks to 935 lies.
935 falsehoods
told by our leading guys
eyes of steel,
tongues of fork
935 lies.
pinnochio's nose kept growing
cause he refused to get wise.
so a round of applause for the size of the schnoz
that told 935 lies.
a couple hundred thousand iraqis,
said their early goodbyes.
it's the gift that keeps on giving,
thanks to 935 lies.
935 falsehoods
told by our leading guys
eyes of steel,
tongues of fork
935 lies.
-
Smooth Moves
BRIDGE
I had a doctrine....
It had my name.
overwhelming force,
That was my game.
But I played with the grownups,
And it wasn't the same.
They snapped a big towel,
at the doctrine of Powell.
Thank God I still had my....smooth moves
I could write a book
And maybe I will
I was trained to lead
Young people to kill.
But when I say follow me
Lately they don't
There's that book I could write.
But maybe I won't.
But I tell myself Colin, you just keep on rollin
CHORUS
Smooth moves....
layin down some
gravitas grooves.
no matter what the
Intel proves
All I needed was my
Smooth moves.
VERSE
I wanted the White House
My wife told me no.
So pimping for war
Was as far as I'd go.
I served my country
Some doctored intel.
I was most trusted.
Then I poisoned my well.
but I tell myself, Colin,
you just keep on rolli with those
SECOND CHORUS
Smooth moves.
Trying not to hear
History's hooves.
long as the
Boss approves
I kept layin down those
Smooth moves.
You know I had a doctrine,
It said, quote,
A war needs support
from the people who vote
An exit strategy,
We knew that by rote
But the grownups said,
Hey, just hold our coat,
Thank God I still had my smooth moves
So I sat at the UN
and I read my lines.
Showing the photos,
Ignoring the signs.
I could have resigned,
I could have called foul.
But that's just not within,
The doctrine of Powell.
So I tell myself, Colin,
You just keep rollin, with those....
Smooth moves....
layin down some
gravitas grooves.
no matter what the
Intel proves
All I needed was my
Smooth moves.
Smooth moves
-
Wolf On the Run
The Wolf's a thinking man's fighter
a warrior's bigger bark
Iraq was what he wanted
and he wouldn't leave a mark
he knew nothing of the country
he spoke with iron will
they had no ethnic conflict
and their oil would pay the bill.
but his boss was much too wily
to be the first to walk the plank
so the Wolf cut out and ran
directly to the bank.
directly to the bank.
he's the Wolf on the run
the Wolf on the run
he don't need no gun
his words always stun
he's the Wolf on the run
he wasn't quite a banker
Trump wisdom he did not sell
couldn't run a two car funeral
said a man who knew him well.
but a certain Shaha Riza
had a come-hither point of view
the trap she lay ensnared him
in a menage a two
he just gave her some promotions
the bankers lost their rags.
the Wolf was on the move again.
Shaha Riza packed his bags.
he's the Wolf on the run
the Wolf on the run
his work is never done
he just needs to be spun
he's the Wolf on the run.
he madeit out of gotham,
and back to government work.
Condi's state department
would give him someplace safe to lurk.
as an arms control adviser,
he'd set off no alarms
all he lacked was a background,
controlling any kind of arms.
and right away a think tank
became a comfy second home
the Wolf can rest his bones awhile, y
with Shaha spitting on his comb.
he's the Wolf on the run
the Wolf on the run.
there's a world to be won
for this late model hun
he's the Wolf on the run.
-
The Head of Alberto Gonzalez
I WAS LOYAL TO GEORGE BUSH, WHENEVER HE'D CALL.
EVEN IF HE WANTED NOTHNING AT ALL.
I WAS LOYAL ON THE RISE, I WAS LOYAL ON THE FALL.
CAUSE EVEN I KNOW WHAT THE POINT OF THE FALL IS,
GIVE THE CRITICS THE HEAD, OF ALBERTO GONZALEZ.
the Geneva conventions I helped redefine.
calling them quaint, I think that quote was mine.
because certain detainees wereover the line.
in the room with top lawyers, it's clear what the call is.
we need the legal head of Alberto Gonzalez.
THE FIRST HISPANIC, WAS A BADGE I'D WEAR WITH PRIDE.
IT GOT ME UPSTAIRS, AND IT GOT ME INSIDE
In Texas, George Bush named me to his supreme court.
could the big one be next? I'd sure need his support.
so my advice was always the most approving sort
if I wanted the robe, I'd give nothing but solace,
and let bush be the head of Alberto Gonzalez.
when we wanted to replace prosecutors with friends,
a big stupid hearing is where that trail ends
the truth doesn't break, but it certainly bends.
I gave an example of what total lack of recall is,
there's no memory in the head of Alberto Gonzalez.
THE FIRST HISPANIC, WAS A BADGE I'D WEAR WITH PRIDE.
IT GOT ME UPSTAIRS, AND IT GOT ME INSIDE
I'll spend time with my family, I'll spend time alone.
I'll sit by my computer, and I'll sit by my phone.
hoping my old friend will just throw me a bone.
even though I know how unlikely that call is.
so I'll just take back the head of Alberto Gonzalez.
-
Karen
Karen, do they love us again?
do they see uncle sam as their friend?
does their heart swell with pride,
knowing god's on our side.
is the whole hatred thing on the mend?
Karen, do they like us some more?
do they ask for our stuff at the store?
when they watch their tv,
do they yearn to be free,
and decide to sign up for our war.
there was no greater bushie than Karen P. Hughes
alwaysknew how to make him look good on the news
with a whole world to win, and nothing to lose,
just what they both wished,
another mission accomplished
did she put out the fire, or re light the fuse?
Karen, do they know that we're good.
like you promised you knew that they would.
have you banished their fear,
do they want to come here,
as if they actually could.?
Karen, do they admit that we're nice?
that we're just tryin to build paradise
have you got them convinced
they were wrong to have winced
when we invaded their place once or twice?
was there ever a player like Karen P. Hughes?
knew what buttons to push, what levers to use
her slightest suggestions you could not refuse
cause she stood at the nexus
of everything texas
even Condi was taking her cues.
so Karen, do they love us out there?
do they know and care that we care?
have they finally confessed
that they like us the best,
to our goals, are they ready to swear,
oh, Karen, do they love us out there.
darlin, you did more than your share.
-
Gym Buds
Every morning we'd be in the gym,
me and him, me and him,
exercising while we talked,
as if we walked,
as if we walked.
I'd explain the world to him,
in the gym, in the gym,
and ever more intimate we grew,
just we two,
me and w.
BRIDGE
and then we
'd go back to our desks
in command
as we planned,
exercycle mornings were the best,
while we stressed to save the west,
mulling secret plans to change the world
while my hair, stayed primly curled.
BRIDGE
and then he'd say Condi, what to do,
think it through,
I trust in you,
but the very next thing that I knew, it all fell through,
very true.
cheney's folks surrounded him,
worked their whim
outside the gym.
gym buds,
the pres and me,
no gifts or taxes
could buy a gal such access
gym buds
but how soon I learned
mornings to me he'd respond
but by noon, he'd bin neoconned.
maybe I should just havetuned out George's siren calls,
stayed in halls with ivy walls,
but something told me this was sink or swim,
be with him, in the gym.
so I decided I'd stay for the second term
turn the worm,
keep the perm
I would leave the white house, move to state
I'd be great, not second rate.
BRIDGE
I'D FLY THE MILES,
USE MY WILES,
MY GAP-TOOTHED SMILES
OUR SECRET FILES.
I'D RESTORE WHAT' WE'D DECREASED
the missing piece, in the middle east.
meeting with world leaders, just the ones we like
a quick strike, then back on the bike.
gym buds
the pres and me
BUT NOW AT FOGGY BOTTOM,
HIS EARS I no lONGER GOT ÔEM
gym buds
but HOW SOON I learned
while mornings to me he'd respond
by noon, he'd been neo-conned.
-
Who Is Yoo?
HE JUST WROTE AND RAN
WHO IS YOO
TORTURE MEMO MAN
WHO IS YOO
HE just BANNED THE BAN
WHO IS YOO
TORTURE MEMO MAN
you got you some detainees
you don't know what to do
do you read them their miranda rights
or cover them with poo
are you doing something illegal
or proper through and through
there's only one guy to call
the one to ask is yoo.
who is yoo
he's in that secret clan.
who is yoo
torture memo man.
who is yoo
he had a clever plan
who is yoo
torture memo man.
you've got some evildoers
and they just won't say boo
a little pain and torment
could change their poiint of view
but before you waterboard them,
you wonder, could they sue,
one guy has got the answer
the one to ask is yoo.
WHO IS YOO
HE JUST WROTE AND RAN
WHO IS YOO
TORTURE MEMO MAN
WHO IS YOO
HE just BANNED THE BAN
WHO IS YOO
TORTURE MEMO MAN
all these laws and treaties
you want something new
this war may last forever
you need to turn the screw
he's teaching law at berkeley
he'll drop the other shoe
the bill of rights expired
the one who knows is yoo.
who is you
catch him if you can
who is yoo
torture memo man.
who is yoo
he just banned the ban
who is yoo
torture memo man.
-
Carrot Soup
THEY CALL ME BIG JOHN BOLTON
THE TOUGH GUY OF MY TROOP
STICKS AND STONES CAN BREAK YOUR BONES
BUT SO CAN CARROT SOUP...
some write their books for glory
some write their books for cash.
I write for sheer revenge, a motive
bigger than my 'stache.
I even out the oddest scores,
and try to close the loop
all I wanted was a stew of sticks,
I end up with carrot soup.
speak softly and carry a carrot
something roosevelt never said.
when you're a super power,
sticks are how the weak are led.
but my leader was a weakling,
in nam he was a dupe,
I whipped up a stick souffle,
and he served me carrot soup.
rice was one more carrothead,
it began to seem unreal,
I planned to play the nuke card,
she played 'lets make a deal'
maybe I just tend to have more
testosterone than the rest.
but pushing folks around
is just the thing that I do best,
my un days were just a blaze
but it made my moustache droop
I served sticks to one and all,
they fed me carrot soup.
so some write their books for glory
to that I will not stoop
I wrote my book with just one goal,
no more carrot soup.
sticks are what I'm stickin to,
It's the end of carrot soup.
-
T**d Blossom Special
HE CALLED ME THE ARCHITECT,
THEY CALLED ME BUSH'S BRAIN
TWO TIMES WE WENT CAMPAIGNING, TWO TIMES WE DRANK CHAMPAGNE.
I HELPED TO BUILD HIS LEGEND, HE HELPED TO BUILD MY MYTH,
WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY; JUST NEED to find A FAMILY TO SPEND IT WITH....
oh, the turd blossom special is taking me home.
never more to roam.
till I got a book that i have to promote.
or a special campaign to help black people vote.
I'm free as a bird
won't be deterred...
I'm on the turd blossom special,
til I can buy me a boat.
I sliced and diced the voters
like pigs on a spit
any issue that divided was the one we really hit
I would gerrrymander for the commander in chief
he was the decider, and the believer, I was the decisions, and the belief.
the turd blossom special is taking me home
where I' wont need a comb
til I find that special candidate that I can advise
and email him encrypted cause that would be wise.
I won't breathe a word,
lest the deal be disinterred,
I'm on the turd blossom special,
in my civilian guise
he called me turd blossom, that's what he liked to do,
I called him the boss, and that amused him too.
we built a majority that would last for years to come
but the war refused to end, and the man who was the boss
soon became the bum.
oh, the turd blossom special is taking me home
where the cars drip with chrome
till I got a book that ihave to promote.
or a big campaign to help some black people vote.
don't be unduly stirred,
by the boldness of the word.
I'm on the turd blossom special,
til I can buy me a boat.
-
No Cooler for the Scooter
He was the soul of loyalty
Wouldn't look at a drink
Now it's the reward of royalty
Scooter's skating past the clink
He was my personal Dick Cheney
More secret than you'd think
Mnnnn how brawny was his brainy
Scooter's scooting by the clink
Scooter's sliding by the clink
Irvin's hoofing by the hoosegow
Parading past the pokey
Libby almost ended up like Liddy
Moral clarity.... almost jokey
No cooler for the Scooter
Thanks to him whom he'd anoint
Though he's still free to bend over
Scooter's rescued from the joint
Scooter's rescued from the joint
He was the poobah of discretion
His pee wouldn't make a plink
Gotta make his best impression
As he walks straight by the clink
He was an agent's outer
Just tasked to make a stink
He was a rumor's router
But he won't be leakin in the clink
No leakin in the clink
Irvin could have ended up a rapper
Trousers getting looser
Surveilled within the crapper
Maybe even...(2 secs)...going Brucer
No cooler for the scooter
The fall guy didn't disappoint
Thank God we were there to catch him
Scooter's sliding by the joint
Scooter's skating past the joint
Scooter's rescued from the joint
-
Stuff Happens
WE KNOW WHAT WE KNOW
WE THINK WE KNOW WHAT WE DON'T KNOW
BUT IF WE don'T KNOW WHAT WE DON'T KNOW,
STUFF HAPPENS
our wmd intel was BULLETPROOF
WE HAD THE BULLETS, BUT NOT THE PROOF
THE BULLETS PROVED WHAT BULLETS PROVE,
STUFF HAPPENS.
STUFF HAPPENS,
LOOTERS GOT TO LOOT
STUFF HAPPENS,
SHOOTERS SHOOT,
it's all moot
FREEDOM CAN BE untidy
for years, iraq's been untidy.
so why do you hate their freedom?
STUFF HAPPENS
YOU FIGHT WITH THE ARMY YOU HAVE.
OTHERWISE, YOU'D NEED ANOTHER ARMY,
BUT THE ONE WE HAD WAS THE ONE WE HAD.
STUFF HAPPENS
DEAD ENDERS JUST WOULD'T DIE
they haven't thrown the final throes yet,
WE'RE THERE UNTIL WE LEAVE
STUFF HAPPENS
STUFF HAPPENS
IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY
STUFF HAPPENS
if you're in the way,
thank the usa
THE UNKNOWABLE CAN'T BE KNOWN.
THE UNSHOWABLE, IT CAN'T BE SHOWN.
I rented THIS WAR, I didn't OWN.
(rummy says) STUFF HAPPENS.
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